391. If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.
392. I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
393. The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet.
394. I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all.
395. I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before.
396. When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep.
397. My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.
398. Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
399. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.
400. My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
401. I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
402. I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.
403. I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.
404. Life is too short to worry about matching socks.
405. Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it?
406. True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
407. Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
408. What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
409. Our love is like a train with no brakes, unstoppable.
410. I keep my page public so my haters have something to do.(:
411. Annoying moment when two people start a conversation on your Facebook status.
412. Facebook is like a fridge, you check it every 5 minutes even though you know that there is nothing there.
413. Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
414. Jonathan is applying geometry to his everyday life: no squares are allowed in my inner circle.
415. Dear Facebook would it be too much to ask for you to just shut down for one day so I could get some things of importance done? Just kidding, really don’t do that.
416. I’m cle’a[ni.ng m’y’ ke]yb36oa;rd.
417. My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.
418. Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
419. If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!
420. On Facebook there should be a relationship status that says I don’t even know what’s going on?
421. I failed my online quiz, did great on my FB status.
422. Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.
423. (Writes on FB) Gotta update my status (Clicks update)
424. Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
425. Quit posting junk that no one cares about!! It’s called FILLING UP MY NEWS FEED!!!
426. I know that I am beautiful, looking is enough but staring is too much.
427. I’m going on a date with my pillow! Goodnight :)
428. Lauren lives vicariously... Through herself.
429. 47% of all statistics are worthless.
430. James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
431. Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?
432. Jack will update his Facebook status for money!
433. Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but it’s better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.
434. Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.
435. Neal is nealing the neally neal with the help of his close neal.
436. Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.
437. I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.
438. Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status… After 3 it should default to “unstable”.
439. Yes, you do have a right to your opinion…And I have a right to mine. And my opinion is that your opinion is ridiculously stupid!
440. Treat me the way you expect to be treated.
441. A bad attitude is like a flat tire, you won’t get no where til you change it.
442. When it rains all the birds fly for shelter but the eagle alone avoids the rain by flying above the clouds. Problems are common to all but the attitude makes the difference.
443. I may not be the best, I may not loved by any one but I am me. That’s what makes me special.
444. A deaf child says “For all of you I am deaf but for me all of you are dumb”. Life have different perspective live the way you want to!
445. The bigger the challenge, the greater risk I’ll take, the more contented I am.
446. Don’t like my attitude? Report me at whocares dot com
447. Success is the by-product of your attitude.
448. Hated by many, wanted by plenty, disliked by some, confronted by none.
449. Attitude is like pregnancy, no matter how long you hide it, it will come out.
450. There’s always a person that you hated for no reason.
451. Possible is more a matter of attitude, a matter of decision, to choose among the impossible possibilities, when one sound opportunity becomes a possible solution.
452. I just don’t care if anyone doesn’t like me I wasn’t put on earth to entertain everyone.
453. The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.
454. Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.
455. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?
456. Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me?
457. Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.
458. Life is always rocky when you're a gem.
459. I need a timeout. Send me to the beach and don't let me come back until I change my attitude.
460. Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test.
461. Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery.
462. If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
463. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again.
464. I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.
465. I didn't mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button.
466. I wish my wallet came with free refills.
467. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
468. Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.
469. It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy.
470. School is pointless. English: We speak it. History: They’re dead, get over it. Math: We have calculators. Spanish: We have Dora.
471. Jolene understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.
472. Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.
473. I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.
474. When you can’t sleep- have no fear! Facebook is here! …Yay?
475. “My memory is so bad” “How bad is it” “How bad is what?”
476. If you’re going to spread lies and rumors about me on Facebook… Feel free to tag me.;)
477. James is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect to be paid back.
478. I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.
479. James is for external use only. See your doctor before administering.
480. Sara couldn’t myself have better it said.
392. I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
393. The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet.
394. I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all.
395. I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before.
396. When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep.
397. My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.
398. Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
399. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.
400. My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
401. I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
402. I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.
403. I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.
404. Life is too short to worry about matching socks.
405. Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it?
406. True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
407. Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
408. What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
409. Our love is like a train with no brakes, unstoppable.
410. I keep my page public so my haters have something to do.(:
411. Annoying moment when two people start a conversation on your Facebook status.
412. Facebook is like a fridge, you check it every 5 minutes even though you know that there is nothing there.
413. Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
414. Jonathan is applying geometry to his everyday life: no squares are allowed in my inner circle.
415. Dear Facebook would it be too much to ask for you to just shut down for one day so I could get some things of importance done? Just kidding, really don’t do that.
416. I’m cle’a[ni.ng m’y’ ke]yb36oa;rd.
417. My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.
418. Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
419. If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!
420. On Facebook there should be a relationship status that says I don’t even know what’s going on?
421. I failed my online quiz, did great on my FB status.
422. Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.
423. (Writes on FB) Gotta update my status (Clicks update)
424. Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
425. Quit posting junk that no one cares about!! It’s called FILLING UP MY NEWS FEED!!!
426. I know that I am beautiful, looking is enough but staring is too much.
427. I’m going on a date with my pillow! Goodnight :)
428. Lauren lives vicariously... Through herself.
429. 47% of all statistics are worthless.
430. James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
431. Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?
432. Jack will update his Facebook status for money!
433. Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but it’s better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.
434. Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.
435. Neal is nealing the neally neal with the help of his close neal.
436. Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.
437. I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.
438. Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status… After 3 it should default to “unstable”.
439. Yes, you do have a right to your opinion…And I have a right to mine. And my opinion is that your opinion is ridiculously stupid!
440. Treat me the way you expect to be treated.
441. A bad attitude is like a flat tire, you won’t get no where til you change it.
442. When it rains all the birds fly for shelter but the eagle alone avoids the rain by flying above the clouds. Problems are common to all but the attitude makes the difference.
443. I may not be the best, I may not loved by any one but I am me. That’s what makes me special.
444. A deaf child says “For all of you I am deaf but for me all of you are dumb”. Life have different perspective live the way you want to!
445. The bigger the challenge, the greater risk I’ll take, the more contented I am.
446. Don’t like my attitude? Report me at whocares dot com
447. Success is the by-product of your attitude.
448. Hated by many, wanted by plenty, disliked by some, confronted by none.
449. Attitude is like pregnancy, no matter how long you hide it, it will come out.
450. There’s always a person that you hated for no reason.
451. Possible is more a matter of attitude, a matter of decision, to choose among the impossible possibilities, when one sound opportunity becomes a possible solution.
452. I just don’t care if anyone doesn’t like me I wasn’t put on earth to entertain everyone.
453. The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.
454. Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.
455. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?
456. Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me?
457. Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.
458. Life is always rocky when you're a gem.
459. I need a timeout. Send me to the beach and don't let me come back until I change my attitude.
460. Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test.
461. Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery.
462. If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
463. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again.
464. I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.
465. I didn't mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button.
466. I wish my wallet came with free refills.
467. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
468. Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.
469. It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy.
470. School is pointless. English: We speak it. History: They’re dead, get over it. Math: We have calculators. Spanish: We have Dora.
471. Jolene understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.
472. Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.
473. I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.
474. When you can’t sleep- have no fear! Facebook is here! …Yay?
475. “My memory is so bad” “How bad is it” “How bad is what?”
476. If you’re going to spread lies and rumors about me on Facebook… Feel free to tag me.;)
477. James is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect to be paid back.
478. I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.
479. James is for external use only. See your doctor before administering.
480. Sara couldn’t myself have better it said.
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